Tonight on Saturday Night Live, Sam Rockwell reunited with his The White Lotus co-star, Walton Goggins, for a musical sketch involving a man with baby feet.
The sketch begins when Jane Wickline walks into Central Park Zoo and discovers a small shoe sitting mysteriously abandoned.
“A tiny baby shoe, in the middle of the zoo,” Wickline sings. “I can’t keep walking. Can’t pretend I didn’t see it when I did, and it’s changing me inside.”
Wickline continues, “I just found this tiny baby shoe, put a footprint on my heart I can’t undo. Can’t throw it away. It’s not trash. A piece of my future, a part of your past. Gotta find this baby, that’s what I’ll do.”
Subsequently, she walks around the zoo looking for the child the shoe fits, only for one foot to be “too skinny,” one “too fat,” and one “too long and oh so flat.”
Watch on Deadline
Weird, she thinks, because these are the only babies she sees here.
“Actually, the shoe belongs to me,” sings Goggins. “I’m a fully grown ass man, with tiny baby feet, and I’d really be so grateful if you’d give my shoe back to me.”
“I found this tiny baby shoe,” Wickline sings, “and the man it belongs to.”
“Surely this is fate,” Goggins replies, “and you and I will date!”
But Wickline doesn’t understand how he’s come to this conclusion.
“You and I are going to date now, right? Because you found my shoe,” says Goggins.
Wickline clarifies that she was looking for a baby.
“No, you thought you were looking for a baby, but you were looking for me. Ding dong, bing bong. Here I am!” Goggins exclaims. “She finally found her man, and they made love on the carousel…”
Wickline notes that they’re not a couple, with Goggins bemoaning being “straight up gaslitted.”
“I know what you’re thinking. He has small feet. Is his other part small too?” he says.
She wasn’t thinking this, though when he asks “Is two inches small?”, she has to say yes.
“You go and leave me be,” Goggins cries. “I’d walk away myself, but I’m tired already. I already walked like 45,000 steps today. I’ve only been awake for like 20 minutes.”
Enter our wise narrator Rockwell, dressed as a balloon artist, who says, “I think we’ve all learned a very valuable lesson today today. Cinderella rules aren’t real-life rules.”
Wickline tells him to mind his business, asking if he makes a habit of “interrupting conversations with nuggets of wisdom.”
Rockwell finally accepts he’s not welcome here, with Wickline singing in closing, “I guess the lesson here is when you find a baby shoe, and the shoe fits like a glove, you can go about your day but it don’t mean you’re in love.”
Goggins hosted tonight’s episode, with Arcade Fire as musical guest. Watch the full sketch above.