Kaitlyn Dever is unbreakable. In just under two years, the actor lost her mother, Kathy Dever, following a 14-year battle with metastatic breast cancer, dealt with an intense social media backlash surrounding her casting of one of the most controversial characters in video game history and still managed to show up on set despite it all. “There was a moment where I was barely able to go to work, and there was a moment where I felt like I couldn’t do it,” Dever told Deadline. “And I think I channeled my mom in many ways to sort of push through and do it for her. And I think that that’s the sole reason why I was able to do it.”
In HBO’s The Last of Us Season 2, Dever plays a skilled soldier named Abby, who sets off on a blood thirsty quest for revenge after learning Joel (Pedro Pascal) was responsible for gunning down her father in cold blood.
Below, the Emmy-nominated actress talks to Deadline about channeling grief, lowkey manifestations from her father and not letting the internet stop her from tackling Season 3.
Watch on Deadline
DEADLINE: I read somewhere that when you were initially in the running to play Ellie for a feature film version of The Last of Us, Neil Druckmann at the time had revealed the plot of the second game to you way before its release. Do you remember your thoughts about Abby from way back when?
KAITLYN DEVER: It was actually my dad’s thoughts and opinions on Abby that were way stronger than mine when I first got a call about having a meeting with Neil Druckmann and Craig Mazin to play Abby. I don’t think I’ve ever talked about this, but earlier on, before I even got that call about the potential of playing Abby, it was my dad saying, “Man, that would be so cool if you could play that girl Abby.” And I was like, “I don’t know.” I had played the first game with my dad twice, but of course, Abby wasn’t in it. At the time I thought, “Oh, he’s just saying things.” I didn’t think anything about it. Then, later, he played the second game, and I remember him telling me, “Hey, you need to sit down, and you just need to watch this. You need to play this.” And it was the end of the second game, which is so intense and the craziest moment of video gaming I’d ever seen.
When I had my first meeting with Craig and Neil, by that point, I had done some of the beginning gameplay of Abby. And just from my initial understanding, she was a very, very, very, very strong woman. And that in and of itself was intriguing to me. After meeting with them and discussing Abby further, I gained more insight into what they want for the role in the show. This made me even more excited to take on this kind of role. Because while I was excited to use the inspiration that Laura Bailey and her performance in the show, I was also excited about the freedom that Craig and Neil were giving me to bring Abby to life in my own way. And I never felt pigeonholed in any sort of way, which was exciting.
But thinking back right now, it really was my dad’s energy that got me excited about all of this. I was like, “Oh, who’s this person he keeps talking about?” Because I know I trust my dad’s opinion and his taste. He’s got really cool taste, and he knows what’s up. And he’s like, “No, that would be so cool if you got to play Abby.” I’m like, “I don’t think I’m ever going to get to play Abby.” And then literally it was only months, not long after that, that I got the call about a meeting to talk to Neil and Craig. Thanks, Dad.
DEADLINE: There was a lot of contention surrounding your casting in the show. But now that the show is out and the next season has been greenlit, has a weight been lifted off your shoulders? Or is there more fear now because Abby is going to be center stage in Season 3?
DEVER: Of course, this was something I thought about when I signed on to The Last of Us. It was also a topic of conversation when I was in my meeting with Craig and Neil. And in no way did it make me afraid or scared to take on the role. I would’ve never not done it because of the fear of reading the internet after the show comes out, or what people might think of me and my portrayal of Abby, because I loved the role so much that it outweighed all of that. Or I guess it helped alleviate that fear in some way. I don’t know. But it’s tricky because, obviously, I look at the internet and I saw things when it first came out. I’m human, so I can’t help but look at those things. But ultimately, if I’m thinking about Season 3, I have a sense of comfort knowing that I’m in really good hands. In Season 2, I felt so taken care of and so supported just by the crew and everybody that I was working with, so that gives me a sense of safety.
Also, there is comfort in the fact that people did love Season 2. So, I just have to trust my instincts and trust myself moving forward. The scripts, the dialogue, and the story is so amazing that I’m not at all going into Season 3 with any sort of fear or hesitation. It’s pure excitement to be part of such a cool show.
DEADLINE: Let’s talk about the last few minutes of the Season 2 finale, where Abby admonishes Ellie about wasting time tracking her down to exact revenge when Abby spared her life. You’ve talked about losing your mom in the past and returning to work to finish up the season. And how the show’s themes sometimes overlapped with what was happening on screen. How did you navigate these difficult emotions?
DEVER: It’s interesting because I don’t know if I’ll ever know how to talk about that concisely. I’m sometimes editing how much I say about my mom’s death because I don’t want to overwhelm the other person that I’m speaking to about it. But I feel we should talk about these things. I’m just speaking from truth when I talk about it, just because it was just literally what I was dealing with right when I started shooting The Last of Us. And it’s just life. There was nothing I could do to stop that from happening. And I still felt like I was doing The Last of Us for her, like it was a duty that I had to do, and I had to see it through.
There was a moment where I was barely able to go to work, and there was a moment where I felt like I couldn’t do it. And I think I channeled my mom in many ways to sort of push through and do it for her. And I think that that’s the sole reason why I was able to do it. So, for that scene and every single episode that I was in, I channeled my own grief for everything. Grief is so front and center for this character as well. It’s a pretty interesting thing when life imitates art in that way. But it was very much on my mind, and it was very much on the character’s mind.
With Abby, we’re meeting her at a point where it’s been quite some time; it’s been five years since she’s been dealing with this grief and planning her revenge. But for the scene you mention, she’s seeing someone she remembers from the chalet in Episode 2. There’s this girl who she knows is associated with Joel, the guy that killed her dad, but she doesn’t know much else other than, “Oh, I spared your life, and you wasted it.” And in the series, this is the first time we’re starting to tap into the mirroring of those two characters.
DEADLINE: In regard to this Emmy nomination, what do you think people are responding to in your portrayal of this character?
DEVER: I think it would be what I responded to when I started really diving deeper into developing her character, and what I was going to do and formulating my plan. And that’s she’s just as broken as everybody else on this show. I think what’s standing out to people in the show, and her introduction to the show, is that it’s different from the game in that we’re given a little more context to Abby in the show version. Whereas in the game, she pops up out of nowhere, kills Joel, no one knows who she is, and you’re just immediately angry at this person.
The show gives Abby that context beforehand and allows you to see that, “OK, she’s human and she’s broken, which is not all that different from any of the other characters within this story.” I wanted to dive deeper into Abby’s emotions and really get to the core of why she did what she did. That, to me, comes from so much rage, anger, frustration, and deep sadness. Those are all relatable feelings, especially when you lose someone you love and they were the only person that you had left, and now they’re gone, and all you want to do is get them back. And so, by killing Joel, she thinks that will make her feel better. There is a split second of this, and I don’t know if anyone caught it, but I think that there is something that I was playing with in the moment of that scene in Episode 2, right after [Joel’s death]. There’s a part of her that is expecting to feel differently, and she doesn’t. And I think that that’s what’s so heartbreaking about that whole sequence, is that she has been spending five years of her life planning to do something that she believes will finally make her feel OK again. And it’s right after it happens that she’s like, “Wait a minute, nothing’s changed, nothing’s different. He’s still gone. And now this man that I don’t even know is gone.” And dealing with that guilt.
And gosh, it’s so loaded and so heavy, but I think she also internalizes all of these emotions, and I think that that is what makes her such a strong person. It’s just how much she’s had to go through, how much she’s seen in her life, and how she perseveres and how she pushes through and keeps going. But again, that’s not that different from a lot of the other characters in this story.
[This interview has been edited for length and clarity]